Being Kind To Yourself
By blogadmin | August 3, 2010
Stripping back the layers. Well I started the journey, got a little way, crapped out and started again. That’s life though isn’t it. I don’t see it as failure. Well that’s a lie actually I did see it as failure. And as a failure I then ate more, drank more and exercised less to punish myself. Not that these actions were deliberate, they were unconscious. I now recognise these behaviours and am working on stopping them in their tracks. Being obese is I think just another form of self abuse – well for me anyway. A bit like biting my fingernails, which I have also struggled with all my life.
“I am kind to myself”. That’s what I have written on my bathroom mirror at the moment. You see I haven’t been very kind to myself over the years. My shrink actually pointed out that in 1 sentence last week I was self loathing, self pitying and self chastising. No wonder I’m tired, feel like shit and obese!!!!!
I have joined a friends group on Facebook which is a 10 week challenge. So far so good. I have been honest, I have exercised and I have been kinder to myself with my food and beverage choices. Ok so it’s only day 2 for me, but I’ve even managed a body step class!!! I’ve also been honest with asking some friends for help in those moments of weakness. I figure I’ll feel better asking for help (which is something I hate doing) then I will feel after I have eaten a wrong choice. Note I’m not saying bad food…..I am making a deliberate choice not to use terms like bad and good, as I don’t want to pass that on to my daughter and no food is good or bad, there are just better choices. I don’t want to be told off anymore, by myself or by others.
I have spoken at length with my gp and my shrink about gastric banding and it is an option for me. I will go to an information evening, so I can be better informed. But the truth is, I would really rather be able to do it myself. Or is that just the control freak coming out in me???
At the moment, I am replacing 2 meals a day with Optifast meals. Shakes or soups at this stage. I am then having 2 healthy snacks and a healthy dinner with my daughter. I’ve cut down on my coffee although there are various arguments about the benefits of coffee when trying to lose weight.
Does over eating or eating an unhealthily choice make me feel better? He’ll no! For those milliseconds I guess I may be a little comforted by the taste or sensation, but it is quickly replaced with the same old loathing self talk going around in my head.
Why do I want comfort? Why am I constantly searching for it? I don’t really know. I think it’s just I feel so bad about myself that I want some comfort from somewhere. Some validation that I am ok, and it will all be ok.
I had a situation last week, where some things were said that shattered me. I mean to the point where I was lying on my office floor sobbing. Now my intellect tells me that the people didn’t mean what they said in the way I took it, that they were just joking. But as someone who has had weight issues all her life, let me tell you, it didn’t feel very funny. I didn’t really talk to anyone (apart from my shrink) about what had happened, because I knew that I would get the “they didn’t mean it like that” “don’t be silly” “they were only joking” comments. That’s not what I wanted. I wanted and maybe needed someone to tell me that my feelings were valid, and that it would be ok. The good old fashioned, Feel Felt Found method would have even worked. I knew I wouldn’t get that, so I just said I didn’t want to talk about it.
When reason came back into play, I knew that it wasn’t just about what had been said, it was actually down to the loathing of myself and what I had become.
Am I back on track? You bet ya!!!!! I will be Stripping Back The Layers to the me I know I want to be.
Topics: Mental Health | No Comments »
Starting Another Diet
By blogadmin | July 12, 2010
How many times have you started a diet in your life??? I would have to say I’ve started about a million (could be a slight exaggeration, but probably not much)…….next question – how many have worked?????
Is tomorrow the day I start another, or is it today, or do I wait till that party in 2 weeks???
The reality is, if you are waiting to start another diet, then when you have finished said diet, you will probably head back on up the scales.
Why is it I know this, yet, it has been the path that I continue to take?
Do I really want to stop being overweight??? Am I used to it being the security blanket for my self loathing?? Do I just use being overweight as the perfect excuse go not achieve what I want out of life? I don’t know the answers to any of these questions, and yet I
keep asking more. That’s my problem, I am so busy intellectualizing my life and waiting for it to be perfect in order to do anything, that I have stopped actually living it to it’s fullest!!! It’s such a sad state of affairs, and one that I will stop.
Historically speaking most of the great weight loss masters have become just that after having ‘the’ moment. That look in a shop window, that comment from a 4 year old, a health scare, a death, a marriage etc etc etc……how many of those reasons are about just the person??? Not many.
So tomorrow is another day, and the day after….continue till fade. I will live my life to it’s fullest, I will get to 75kgs and I will do it for me. I won’t wait till Xmas in July has finished, I won’t wait till I finish that bottle of red….I will just see how I go day by day, step by step.
Topics: Food Habits (not diets) | No Comments »
Does Caffeine Hinder Weight Loss??
By blogadmin | June 14, 2010
A friend of mine recently gave up coffee and I wondered why. I drink 2-3 cups a day, and drink the VERY occasional diet caffeinated drink. I was interested in his reasons and here is the reason……
Does caffeine hinder weight loss?
Studies have shown that caffeine (as in coffee and some sodas) contributes to insulin resistance (thus making it harder to lose weight), increases appetite (again making it harder to lose weight) and contributes to food cravings (making it difficult to adhere to a weight loss diet). In those studies, even decaffeinated coffee is shown to be detrimental to weight loss.
Caffeine also interferes with GABA and prevents it from performing its calming duties in the human body. This then increases physiological and psychological stress (often associated with both overeating and difficulty adhering to a weight loss diet). Those who are trying to lose body fat (weight) would do well to avoid caffeine.
Many overweight people, particularly those who have frequently ‘dieted’ and lost weight only to regain it later, are insulin resistant. Unfortunately, many people who are insulin resistant are unaware of it. If you have insulin resistance, using caffeine will further affect your metabolism.
It will have the opposite outcome of what you want. In the long term, avoiding caffeine will help to boost your metabolism. Naturally increasing your metabolism by combining correct eating (replacing or strictly limiting refined/processed carbohydrates with natural ‘fat burning’ foods) and (unless unable to exercise) cardio exercise, plus, if possible, weight training, will lead to fat loss and increased lean muscle. Lean muscle is your metabolic furnace that will burn extra calories/energy 24 hours daily and not just when you are exercising.
Even if you are unable to exercise, increasing metabolism and maintaining it long term will enable you to avoid future weight gain. For more information about fat burning foods that speed up metabolism see the related pages, further down this page, listed under Related Questions.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Does_caffeine_hinder_weight_loss
Topics: Food Habits (not diets) | No Comments »
Gastric Banding
By blogadmin | June 10, 2010
It’s pretty depressing (for me) when you start considering Gastric Banding. Don’t get me wrong it is an amazing tool for some people. After speaking with my Dr and reading about it though, I think I would see it as yet another failure that I couldn’t shed the weight myself. Also, if I haven’t yet fixed the emotional issues that lead me to eating and drinking more and exercising less – then isn’t gastric banding just going to be a short term fix??
Anyway I am reading more about it, as I am so depressed about my weight at the moment (maybe it’s the winter blues), so will keep you posted.
With all my research online, I have found a few interesting reads.
I found the best reads at Yahoo Groups.
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/search?query=gastric+banding
So what is the definitaion of gastric banding…….A surgical procedure in which a band made of special material is placed around the stomach near its upper end, creating a small pouch and a narrow passage into the larger remainder of the stomach. It can be tightened or loosened over time to change the size of the passage.
Basically if your BMI is over 40 it is used as a tool to reduce the size of your stomach, thus reducing the food / drink intack – which will inturn reduce your weight. They can be adjusted later on down the track.
Topics: Weight Loss Surgery | No Comments »
Heart Attack equals Wake Up Call!!!
By blogadmin | May 31, 2010
It literally was a WAKE UP call a couple of weeks ago…..when my mother walked into my room, clutching her chest and sweating profusely at 5am. She was having a heart attack. She’s only 74 and is happier than I have ever known her, has recently lost weight and has been looking after herself. It was so not fair.
On the upside – she is ok. She’s feeling better, is out after 2 weeks in hospital and back at her house resting and recuperating.
I do not want to get there.
This week I have been using my walker and watching what I eat. I refuse point blank to be unhealthy anymore. I can’t. I have the most important reason in the world……I want to share a long life with my gorgeous daughter. I don’t want her to ever wake up with that sight.
Is being overweight a road to heart failure? The simple answer is yes. However I have known of people as I’m sure others do that have suffered and died of heart failure, when they weren’t overweight and didn’t appear unhealthy. Sometimes when your number is up, your number is up – but you don’t have to help the number come around faster.
The cardiac nurse at rehab was discussing how important oral hygiene was, given the veins under you tongue are a very fast way to get disease etc to the heart, and wouldn’t you know it – look what I found online…
http://blog.taragana.com/health/2010/05/28/brush-your-teeth-twice-daily-to-avoid-heart-disease-23553/
LONDON – Brushing your teeth twice a day could go a long way reducing the risk of heart disease, says a new study.
Over the last 20 years, there has been increased interest in links between heart problems and gum disease and it has been established that inflammation in the body, including mouth and gums, plays an important role in the build up of clogged arteries.
But the latest study investigated whether the number of times individuals brush their teeth has any bearing on the risk of developing heart disease. The authors, led by Richard Watt, professor from University College London, analysed data from over 11,000 adults who took part in the Scottish Health Survey.
The research team analysed data about lifestyle behaviours such as smoking, physical activity and oral health routines.
Individuals were asked how often they visited the dentist (at least once every six months, every one to two years, or rarely/never) and how often they brushed their teeth.
On a separate visit, nurses collected information on medical history and family history of heart disease, blood pressure and blood samples from consenting adults.
The samples enabled the researchers to determine levels of inflammation that were present in the body. The data gathered from the interviews were linked to hospital admissions and deaths in Scotland until December 2007, said a University College London release.
The results demonstrate that oral health behaviour was generally good with 62 percent of participants saying they visit the dentist every six months and 71 percent reporting that they brush their teeth twice a day.
“our results confirmed and further strengthened the suggested association between oral hygiene and the risk of cardiovascular disease,” Watt said.
These findings were published in the British Medical Journal.
Topics: General Health | No Comments »