Weigh Ins
By blogadmin | February 17, 2008
Weigh Offs they should be called….isn’t that what you are measuring - Weight Off not the Weight In. Either way, it’s still scary.
Do you do what some have hinted at on some reality shows - bulk up, then shed more at the next weigh in?? I think not. That would only be fooling yourself.
Sure I’m scared. Have I lost anything? Will it be enough to put me ahead in the comp? Am I happy with my effort this week.
My brain has turned into a rolling question sheet - I feel like the host of a tv quiz show. Why are the answers not popping up quickly like they’re on an autocue??
We hold so much faith in numbers. I’m healthy. I have no sugar, blood pressure, heart or other physical ailments yet I am morbidly obese apparently. Why can’t your target weight be based on more than just numbers?
If I get to 70kgs I will look like a very different person, I will be fit, healthy and able to fit into sizes that have run away from me since I was a teenager, yet according to the weight gurus I will still be overweight. Seems crazy to me.
I watched The Biggest Loser tonight for the first time this season. They have an interesting Forum People get so heated about this show. I myself would never go in it, but I have lots of admiration for those that do. It’s hard enough to face your own demons let alone doing it on national television - says me who is writing this all online for who knows how many people to see.
Topics: Fernwood War On Waistlines, Mental Health | 1 Comment »
Fighting Fit
By blogadmin | February 16, 2008
Today was personal training day and boxing day at the gym…..youch!!!! Boxing as a form of exercise is amazing. I always thought boxers were just dumb beefy guys who had some left over childhood agression issues and they needed to pound away at someone to get it all out. Not true. I have such a new respect for their fitness level.
When someone say they are going to work on your abs, they really mean it. Problem is, I forgot to buy some on the way. Oh, so under the flabby tubby there are abs you say? I find that so hard to believe at the moment. I’m finding it really hard to shift anything of the dreaded tummy zone. Are we sure there isn’t a magic pill for a flat tummy!!!
I feel like I’m doing well with War on Waistlines this week. Monday will tell as it’s weigh in day.
I have been great with my food, apart from 5 alcoholic drinks I have had.
I’ve been exercising as much as possible. I know I should try to get to the gym more, but life gets in the way, and my goal is to get to my goal weight by doing something that is sustainable, and busting my gut to spend 3 hours a day is just not sustainable. This will cost me points in the competition, but I’m hoping I can up my points with the cm’s lost.
I really liked this article on Boxing Scene Dot Com about weight loss secrets.
I think my arms are so tired I won’t even be able to brush my hair!!!
Topics: Fernwood War On Waistlines, Exercise / Training | No Comments »
Dating
By blogadmin | February 15, 2008
Dating is a tough one when you are on a journey like this. I had a date the other night - do they still call it that? Nice guy, nice, I know people hate that word but it’s true. He was charming, attentive, flirty and yes I guess I wanted a little more. So tonight we’re catching up again. So what does one do on this kind of day. Nothing out of the norm. Training and work. Problem was, I was so tired after my session all I wanted to do was crash on the couch. Good thing I’m motivated - so I eventually got up. I’m typing this while waiting to go out - multi tasking. My shrink tells me I owe it to myself to find a partner, short term , long term doesn’t matter. I just need to get back out in the world and experience life outside my daughter, my extended family and work. But it’s so scary!!!!!!
The questions that go over and over in your mind are stupid. Then you keep telling yourself you’re being stupid which makes you feel even worse. Surely I will snap out of this cycle at some point.
Why would he want to be seen out with me?
Does he think all fat girls are easy because we don’t get asked very often?
Is he just feeling sorry for me?
Then you say to yourself ‘oi stupid, maybe he thinks your ok’!!!! It’s just hard when you don’t think that you would actually go out with yourself at the moment.
You see, the last time I lost weight was when I was madly in love and truly thought that I would be more lovable if I was thinner. They say thin people are sizest, well let me tell you, fat people are also.
Anyway, this isn’t about my love life, so enough of that.
What happened to my confidence? Did I leave it in a shoe shop somewhere??
Having a browse online about this issue and it’s commented on frequently.
Check this out at WikiAnswers
I’ve been overweight 95% of my life and during that time I have dated plenty of people, so I know it’s not my weight that is the issue. It comes down to how you feel about yourself and in times when I have been feeling confident (or good at faking it), it’s all fine. The other times, it gets a bit quieter on the romance front.
You need to treat yourself how you want to be treated, love yourself how you want to be loved, respect yourself like you want to be respected etc etc and then Mr or Ms Right will walk on in the door.
It’s funny, I’m so into goal setting etc etc but the one thing I have never done is write about my perfect partner. Some people say this is how the Universe will use the Law of Attraction to bring them to you…..I’ve never been able to figure out who I’m looking for so that page in my journal is still empty.
Back to the rest of the Wild Wooly Web - there are actually dating sites (and lots of them) for larger men and women. BBW that’s what we’re called apparently.
Here are a couple if you want to have a look.
Overweight Date
Large Friends
Find a BBW Lover
There are lots more dating sites out there, but hey…..I don’t need to join a BBW dating site, as I’m not going to be a BBW for much longer!!!
Topics: Dating | No Comments »
Happy Valentines Day
By blogadmin | February 14, 2008
Valentines Day is a crazy day for any person (women especially), but for a fat girl it can be terrible. You see all these skinny malinkis walking down the street carrying huge stupidly expensive flowers and you think to yourself, if only I was thin, I would have been sent some. Then you get depressed that you don’t have to go home and get dressed up to be taken out for a romantic dinner, so you probably eat or drink too much at home by yourself while you plan how you are going to drop weight. Been there, done that.
Today I did different.
I made myself look so nice for work, and my daughter told me I was beautiful. First time she has ever said it and it was totally spontanious. Do you think I walked on a cloud all day after that? You bet ya! That was better than a rose anyday. I’m not knocking flowers, however that genuine display of love was far better than a flower bought because that’s what you do on Valentines Day.
The big change was today I did stuff for me, I went to the gym, I felt great in my outfit and I learnt a great lesson - you can make yourself feel just as special, if not more than someone else can.
In the end I did get a Valentines message, so I did get to share in some of the love conditioning of the world…..it gave me a huge smile and another boost of confidence……so I guess I won’t turn down any flowers if they come my way.
Topics: Appearance, Weight Acceptance | No Comments »
Shift your thinking
By blogadmin | February 13, 2008
What did I do tonight?? Well it wasn’t exactly exciting enough to cause fireworks, but it made me feel great.
I cleaned out my wardrobe.
All the clothes that made me look or feel fat and frumpy went in a pile.
All the clothes I can fit into went at one end, the ones with a few more kilos to go in the middle and the one that are 20kgs off down the other end.
I tell you, you need to do this. It’s like I’ve been shopping, I now have all these extra clothes to wear.
I needed to actually try everything on as I still think I’m bigger than I am and those ‘nicer’ clothes won’t fit me. They do. Now I have no excuse not to wear nice clothes every day. I needed to actually see for real that I wasn’t 133.5kgs any more. I know the scales say I’m 118.5kgs, but I still felt so much bigger than I am. I needed to shift my thinking.
This was a very liberating and uplifting feeling.
Anyone who has been up and down the weight see saw would know this feeling. You have clothes in your wardrob in 6 sizes and you feel like you have nothing to wear. It just takes a little organisation, but I swear you will have clothes that will help motivate you to stay on track. I’m not talking that elusive little black dress that you last wore in 1995, I’m talking current clothes that will help you feel like you fit in again, RIGHT NOW!!!!!
That’s the important thing. You want to start feeling fashionable, sexy and attractive along your weight loss journey, not just at the end….because guess what!!! There is no end to a weight loss journey. If you have ever been overweight you are on that journey for life baby. You may not be actively shedding weight but maintaining your goal weight will require just as much effort. I know this because I’ve lost weight, not made the effort and put it all back on again. Never again!!!!
Topics: Appearance, Goals, Mental Health, Visualisation | No Comments »